It was a media circus. I was on tv and in every major newspaper around the world. It was on every channel. I was being called the first mercy killer by a father of his child. Whenever I saw, or heard the words ‘killed his daughter’, it cut me deeply. Not sliced me, that’s too easy a description, but cut me, tore at me inside. Like a punch to your stomach, only deeper. It was horrible.
I was in Time magazine. Even The Enquirer and The Weekly World News. I know this because I would get bundles of mail from everywhere. Europe, Canada, even Japan. I read them and they were either hate mail or people praying for me. I actually read through the hate mail. Anything starting with ‘God forgives you’ or ‘I’m praying for you’, I threw away. There was no God. How could there be?
My trial lasted a month. I was convicted of first degree murder and sentenced to life in prison with no possibility of parole for 25 years. I remember Judge Cowart asking me if I had any last words before he passed sentence. I was crying as I asked him, begged him, to let me say good bye to Joy before I was sent to prison. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to visit her again.
He explained he didn’t know if the Dept of Corrections would pay for it. Then, a Sgt., the guard who was in charge of the detail that brought me to the courtroom and took me back to my cell each day for the last 6 months, said that he and fellow officers would do it. This was the same officer that had taken me to the funeral home to see Joy, and to her funeral. He said that they would do it on their own time! I wish I could remember his name. I’ve tried, it’s just not there. He was a red headed Sgt. at the Dade County Jail and his picture was in the Herald taking me back to jail from the funeral home. If you should ever read this, “Thank You. I’ve never forgotten you. You gave me my last moments with my daughter for over a decade.”
I said good bye to Joy on Christmas Eve. I prayed beside her grave in handcuffs. It was surreal.
I’m at my daughter’s grave.
I’m at Joy’s GRAVE.
In handcuffs.
Convicted of killing her.
It was surreal.
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